love. hate. coachella/vancouver inspired

As some of you know, I went to the Coachella Music Festival a couple of weeks ago, followed by a trip up to Vancouver, B.C. (bring cash), Canada. One would think, “Wow, that sounds pretty freakin’ cool, it must have been a perfect vacation.” But as is the case in life, nothing is perfect yet there’s always a silver lining in a pool of shit. Hence, a new love/hate list inspired by recent experiences and events.

Love

Robin – I’d be hard pressed to think of someone who exudes more warmth, love, character and laughter. She’s almost as dope yet equally giving as my chica. Really though.

Thongs – GOD bless the first woman who saw this stringy underwear and thought to herself, “This part goes in my ass crack? Hmm, sounds good to me.” That woman should have a Pulitzer Prize. Thongs and the internet: our era’s greatest contributions to humanity. Also, they second as great indoor hats.

Swimming – I swim like a duck. All is calm above water but I’m doggy paddling like a mutha fucker under. Still, I love every second of it.

Miike Snow (Yes, that’s how it’s spelled) – What is it about these amazing Swedish bands? I was recently having a rough week, evaluating the level of happiness in my life, making sure I’m staying true to what the soul and heart demand but couldn’t figure things out. On my way home from work the song “Animal” came on and it was one of those moments when one realizes certain situations are never coincidence. I hate to bore you with how and why I relate to this song, but it reminded me of who I am and why. It inspired me and gave me comfort in the state of creation and suspension that is my mind. “I change shapes just to hide in this place but I’m still, I’m still an animal… nobody knows it but me when I slip, yea I slip, I’m still an animal.”

Used book stores – Book Alley in Pasadena, I’m talkin’ ‘bout you.

Lakers play-off games – The heart of L.A. isn’t downtown or Hollywood. It’s not even the Pacific Ocean beaches or our mostly dope ass neighborhoods. The collective heart of L.A. is a purple and gold jersey.

Vancouver – Sign # 1 that you are in an amazing city/country: The moment one walks onto the street from the train and are greeted not with exhaust fumes or the smell of rat piss a la NYC but with the pungent albeit delicious smell of B.C. Bud. Sign #2: Said weed is on sale in front of an art gallery while the police watch from across the street and do absolutely nothing. Mind you it’s 4/20 but still, that’s pretty bad ass in my book.

In-ear ear buds – When was the last time you listened to your iPod with the volume bar half blue and half white?

Funny or Die on HBO – Makes me realize that Fatima’s and my quirky ideas for a sketch comedy show can actually work.

My dad – I know this would seem to be obvious but if one thing life has taught me is that not everyone is fortunate enough to have parents that love the fucking shit out of them. Lucky for me and my sisters, we are that fortunate. He makes for quite the eccentric hero. If that weren’t enough, he is the most charismatic dude I’ve ever been witness to, he is funny as all hell, he is individualistic without apology and I am honored to be his son and thankful to still have him in my life.

Hate

Arizona law makers – Not all of them, just the assholes who wrote, voted for and approved SB 1070.

People who do not say “excuse me” when they walk in front of you, step on your toes and bump the person originally in front of you – Explanation not needed.

ETO – It’s our database software at work but the acronym should be POS (piece of shit).

L.A. public transportation – Yes, it’s improving but a nine mile train ride to work shouldn’t take 1 hour. Villaraigosa, don’t fuck this up for us!

The fact that there were no Asian people at the May Day rally – Seriously guys? I grew up in the S.G.V., we both know the deal.

Floyd Mayweather – It has nothing to do with his talking. I actually like that he believes in himself, considers himself the greatest fighter ever, is the cockiest man in any combat sport because it takes an incredible amount of courage and determination to be a prize fighter and excel at it. As a boxing fan, I have mad respect for him. He is just so atrociously boring to watch. It’s twenty times more entertaining to watch my nephew wiggle and dance like a deranged madman to Yo Gabba Gabba than to watch a Mayweather fight.

Assimilation – Yea, I get it, there are benefits to it but damn it sure takes the soul out of a city.

Hockey – Sorry MJ, I still don’t get the appeal and I don’t think I ever will. Wait, unless the next Crosby is Mexican.

Huge crowds – I’m claustrophobic and easily annoyed by dumb asses. How I got through Coachella without killing anyone only baby Jesus knows. Wait, this has a little more pop in Spanish. Allow me to translate: Grandes grupos de gente – Soy claustrofobico y me encabrono facilmente con pendejos/as. No mate nadie en Coachella porque Dios es muy grande.

Thinking about stuff I hate – It’s harder to find things that I hate than I love. I’m a glass half full kind of mutha fucker and I want to keep it that way. I’ll probably cut the hate list in half next time. If there is a next time (you know, si Dios nos da vida).